Father, let my heart be after you.

Father, let my heart be after you.

 

“What am I doing here?” The girl looks away from the mirror, her cheeks smeared black from the mascara she had put on her eyelashes earlier that morning.  The twisted reality continues to sink in as feelings of helplessness, abandonment, and frustration sweep through her system.  “Wasn’t I obedient? Wasn’t my heart in the right place? Wasn’t there a promise?”

 

She has learned that there is oftentimes (if not always) more than meets the eye.  She has learned that the Words that she believes breathe life into man are not always understood as truth and are not always taught purely and wholly.  She has learned that so many are lost and so many do not hear the Voice that she has come to know as her Guide and her Friend. 

 

The countless questions dashing through her mind are quieted by a still warmth.  The tears subside and she takes a deep breath, closing her bloodshot eyes.  Another reality hits her:  She is loved.  And not in the cheap, conditional sense of the word.  No. She is truly, utterly, deeply, and completely loved.  She is loved by the One who will never fail her, the One who will never leave or forsake her, the One who is faithful even when she is not.  She is struck by the immense beauty of being able to rejoice even amidst her pain. 

 

The girl slowly opens her eyes and looks back into the mirror.  A small smile makes its way onto her red, puffy face.  It’s a smile of comfort.  A smile of hope.  A smile of knowing that her life is not her own. It belongs to the One who loves her.  In barely a whisper, a short, powerful prayer leaves her lips. “May my heart be after You.”

 

 

“This is what God the LORD says—

he who created the heavens and

stretched them out,

who spread out the earth and all

that comes out of it,

who gives breath to its people,

and life to those who walk on it:

‘I, the LORD, have call you in

righteousness;

I will take hold of your hand.

I will keep you and will make you

to be a covenant for the people

and a light for the Gentiles,

to open eyes that are blind,

to free captives from prison

and to release from the dungeon

those who sit in darkness.

 

‘I am the LORD, that is my name!

I will not give my glory to another

or my praise to idols.

See, the former things have taken

place,

and new things I declare;

before they spring into being

I announce them to you.’ ”

 

Isaiah 42:5-9